


Yours forever, Padfoot

by lumosvnox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, MLM Relationship, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), No Smut, Sirius misses Remus, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27215533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumosvnox/pseuds/lumosvnox
Summary: It's been three months since Sirius was sent to Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. He misses Remus. The guards let him write a letter to his love.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 23





	Yours forever, Padfoot

**Author's Note:**

> For Ivy.

Dear Moony,  
it’s a miracle they’re letting me write this, I don’t know if it will ever reach you, but I pray to god it will. I don’t have much time, so I’m going to jump right in: I didn’t do it. I didn’t betray James and Lily, I would never. It was wormtail, he isn’t dead like you might think he is. I wish I could tell you everything, but because this will probably be read by more people than I’d like, I can’t. I put my trust in you, that you’ll believe me and do your own research.

I miss you my love. I miss everything about you. From taking care of you after the full moon, to the way your eyes shine when you look at me. It’s been three months and my heart aches because I haven’t seen you since then. Your beautiful laugh is like a light in the darkness. The thought of you is what keeps me going in this horrible place, it’s the only flicker of happiness left. I can still picture your face so perfectly, still hear your voice, your laugh, my biggest fear right now is that those memories will fade.

Do you remember the time we snuck out after that quidditch match? We went to the forbidden forest. No one dared to go in there, but of course we didn’t care about the scary rumours. Even though you were always the wise one, this one time you gave in to the adventure and danger, it was the best moment of my life. I remember it so clearly, us standing on top of that hill. Your eyes and skin shining in the moonlight. It was in that moment that I really saw how beautiful you are. I’d always known of course, but it hit me like a brick wall in that very moment. I couldn’t help myself, I leaned forward and I kissed you. I was terrified when I realized what I’d done you know? I remember flinching back as soon as I realized, surprise and shock was written all over your face. I thought I’d made a mistake, I nearly ran away. Then all of the sudden you cupped my cheek and kissed me again, it was beautiful. I’ll savour that moment for the rest of my life. The feeling of your soft lips against mine, your hands on my cheek and in my hair. The feeling of your hair between my fingers, the feeling of your waist on my other hand. It was pure bliss. We sat down after that, stargazing for the rest of the night. It was a night full of soft caresses, soft kisses and hugs. I miss it, I miss it so much it hurts. We told each other we love each other for the first time that night, remember? It was a soft whisper in the wind, but it was there. I couldn’t believe it when I heard you whisper ‘’I love you too’’, but you really did say it. For a moment after that I worried that maybe we had moved too fast, little did I know that we didn’t have much time together left. That day was the happiest day of my life, I want you to know that. It’s the memory I use for conjuring my patronus, that’s how happy I was in that moment.

Do you remember when James and Lily found out? I don’t think I’d ever seen James that shocked before. It was in that abandoned classroom in our seventh year. For some reason we forgot to lock the door. We were making out, god I miss that feeling, when suddenly the door opened. There they were, James and Lily. James looked more in shock than ever, Lily just looked at us with a small smile. I now know why, she told me she already knew about two months after this happened. I don’t think I ever told you that, I wish I could tell you face to face. She said she’d noticed the way we looked at each other ages ago, before either of us even knew. Here we were thinking we were being subtle. You were blushing so much when they walked in, your blush became even worse when James started asking all those slightly awkward questions. I hope that one day, I can see you blushing like that again, you always look beautiful when you blush.

There is something you should know, I was planning on proposing to you. I was going to do it three weeks after that horrible day, I already bought a ring. It’s a simple silver band with one simple engraving. It says: ‘’you are my light.’’ You still are, now more than ever actually. I was so nervous, but I was so excited at the same time. I wish I’d planned to do it earlier. I hope that one day, I’ll still be able to do it. I find myself wondering how you would’ve reacted all the time. Would you have smiled? Maybe you would’ve cried. Would you have said yes? I might sound a bit cocky, but I think you would have. My heart hurts.

I don’t know how long I’m going to be in here, perhaps my whole life, but I can promise you one thing: I will always love you my dear. You are my one and only, you always have been. I need you to promise me something. If 5 years from now, I’m still in here, I need you to move on. I love you too much for you to be stuck at me for the rest of your life. You deserve all the happiness in the world Moony, you really do. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I need you to find someone who will love you, cherish you and who you can built a life with. Can you do that for me? You deserve to be happy, it would kill me if I were the one to keep you from leading a happy life.

I will forever be yours Moony, no matter how long I’ll be in here. You are the most beautiful, kind, compassionate and brave human being out there. I have never loved anyone like I love you. You are like my oxygen, living without you is slowly killing me. I love everything about you. Your eyes, which have this beautiful twinkle when you laugh. I might’ve imagined it, but I always felt like they shone a little more when you looked at me. Your hair, so soft between my fingers. I wish I could just run my fingers through it once more. Your lips, soft and perfectly shaped. The feeling of those lips against mine is a feeling I’ll never forget. I’d do anything to kiss you one last time. Kissing you feels like coming alive. Every single time our lips touch, it feels like life becomes a little brighter. Your laugh, it has to be the most beautiful sound to ever exist. If only I could hear it just once more. I know you don’t like your scars, but to me they’re one of the most beautiful things about you. They’re a sign of your bravery. You are so brave Moony, I’m so proud of you.

I have one more favour to ask of you. When Harry returns to the wizarding world, when you meet him again, will you take care of him for me? He needs people that love him, I’m afraid his aunt and uncle won’t.

I have to wrap it up now. Moony, I want you to remember a few things. You are so brave, so beautiful, so kind. You are such an amazing person, the best person I have ever met. You have to move on eventually, you need to be happy. You deserve it Moony, you really do. I will forever be yours, nothing can change that. I can only hope that deep down, a part of you will remain mine forever as well. I love you so much Moony, so extremely much. I hope you’ll never forget that. I love you.

Yours forever, Padfoot.

~

The letter never reached Remus, the guards were cruel enough to not send it. For twelve long years, Remus was left to wonder if the love of his life really did betray his best friends like that. Deep down, he never believed it. The boy he fell in love with would never do such a thing, the man he grew up to be wouldn’t either. He tried to move on, he felt like Sirius wouldn’t want him to dwell on the past for the rest of his life. He couldn’t though, he loved Sirius too much. He never stopped loving him. When they met again, twelve years later, he made sure to tell him that. They lived another two years together, until Sirius died. Remus lost him all over again, it hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. However, this time he did move on. Sirius had told him that he wanted him to move on if he died right before the battle at the ministry. He never stopped loving him though, it was impossible. He loved Tonks as well, but Sirius would always be the one big and epic love of his life. Remus came to his own end at the battle of Hogwarts. In the after life, he was reunited with his one true love and they could finally be together in peace. Forever.


End file.
